Not the disturbing “IT” clown, or the creepy “Poltergeist” puppet clown that have both individually scarred me for life, but a regular old, fun-loving actual clown. A 4.5 year old clown with no way of controlling his random spaz movements, or about 99.999% of what comes out of his mouth.
And I love it.
Our twins are definitely representative of my husband and I. Andy is loud, a ham, thrives on attention and making people laugh, is creative, quirky, and breaks almost everything he touches.
Tyler, on the other hand, is a serious little monkey. He needs to know how everything works, and likes to pull things apart, then put them back together, then pull them apart, then put them back together, ad nauseam. He is quietly funny, likes to be alone in a room of people, and likes to imagine.
Like my husband.
Of course when either one of them is acting like a jerkhead, we like to say the child got that from the other parent. Who doesn’t do that?
So, the clown, my Ando Bonando:
He likes to break into random dancing like Elaine on Seinfeld, and there’s nothing he won’t dance to. He does the “worm” standing up, then falls onto the floor, does a handstandand just stays like that for a few minutes. I call it Abstract Breakdancing. He bursts into Imagine Dragon’s “Radioactive” while banging on the piano, and loves the beginning of Lady Gaga’s “Bad Romance”. He likes to talk to adults, and he says the most awesome things.
Today, he was talking about his teacher, Ms. Stacey.
Andy: I think Ms. Stacey is engaged. ( I didn’t think he knew that word)
Me: No, she’s married, honey.
Andy: (eyes wide) To the MUFFIN MAN????
Me: (likes to go with it) The one on Drury Lane?
Andy: Well, there is only one muffin man, mom
’tis true, I know of no other muffin man.
He’s also very blunt, crude, and kinda gross.
We were at the McDonald’s play area the other day, and he and Tyler were playing with a little girl they just met. (They call girls “girdle”)
Andy says LOUDLY:
“I smell farts. I can taste them in my mouth! Hey, girdle, are you farting???”
I died for a minute.
He is in love with “Shrek the Musical” and screams at anyone that will look at him: “WHAT ARE YOU DOIN’ IN MY SWAMP?!”
He wants toys and costumes that don’t exist and if he had his way, he’d be wearing a Doctor Doom costume and carrying around a 4 foot Buzz Lightyear toy that will clean his room for him.
I hope he’s always this carefree, although not too much in school.
I don’t want to have a permanent chair in the principal’s office.