While you cannot tell from my thick mane of glossy brunette-ness, my hair is coming in gray.  Not just one or two strands here or there, but a full on head of silvery sadness. Not the pretty kind either, I know this because a hairdresser told me once: “Many people can grow their gray hair in and it’s beautiful, unfortunately, you don’t have that kind of color.”

There might have been a boo-boo lip on my part from that.

Granny Lou, who is in her upper 80’s told me the other day: “Ohhh, I like your blonde highlights!” Silence. “Ohhhhhh, nevermind.”  Don’t worry Granny, I’ll be heading to your standing Saturday hair appointments with you soon enough.

One thing I noticed, is that gray hair is really strong. I did a test in my basement lab, and discovered it has the combined tensile strength of Kevlar, diamonds, and a Boron Nitride Nanotube.

Because of its massive strength, I may or may not have flossed my teeth with a strand. And if I did, hypotheoretically, it was for an extremely stubborn piece of Cupcake Popcornopolis brand popcorn wedged painfully in a molar.

Dyeing gray hair is a pain in the behind. I have home dyed for ages, and about a year ago I noticed that it just was not covering my “blonde highlights” any more.  So the Hunt began for the right color.  I’m really surprised my hair hasn’t completely fallen out yet. Luckily Mr. Who doesn’t notice if my hair is brown, black, or circus tent striped, so I can experiment willy-nilly.

I was thinking the other day, how fantastic it would be to take a hair dye pill.  Most people in my age range are familiar with the movie Soul Man with C. Thomas Howell made in the mid 80’s. Here was a lighthearted comedy about a rich boy whose father cut him off, so he took a tanning pill to darken his skin in order to get a scholarship to college.  Hilarity, of course ensues, then at the end *SPOILER ALERT*  it was revealed that he was Caucasian after all.

I want someone to invent that pill for real. But for hair color. How awesome would that be? “Let’s see, I think tomorrow I would like to be medium golden brown.” Smile in the mirror, pop the MGB pill, and wake up in the morning with the beautifully, and evenly, colored hair of my choice.

The only problem I foresee is this magic wonder pill will probably color all the hair on your body.  I definitely won’t be taking the blue pill in that scenario.

So, if any geniuses end up designing the formula for this, I want credit. You can call it CareHair (what? if my town has a Frogen Yozurt (I’m not kidding), then I can have CareHair). I also want some cash and free hair pills for life.

Advertisements