I am so excited about Sharktopus vs. Mermantula, I can hardly wait.

I keep calling it Shartopuss or Sharktopolis, but that’s because I’m me, and words don’t come out right sometimes. It’s my brain’s way of saying it’s smarter than me.

I still occasionally say: cup-o-my-chino instead of cappuccino, but I blame that on my unsophisticated upbringing in a town where cows mooed at us during football games.

(Ok, it wasn’t that bad, it was called “Champion Township” after all.

Back to the important stuff. The movie. I was hoping that THIS time, Sharktopus will feature Oscar-worthy performers such as Ron Perlman, Zach Galifanakis, or Tila Tequila. Instead, it is starring the very pretty Casper Van Dien and equally stunning Catherine Oxenberg.

I called my mom to tell her the good news, and at first she didn’t believe me. She said she would pay to see ANYTHING by that title.

We then got into a texting war over new titles of SciFi “Original” movies.  Ok, technically, they are original, but pairing two unlikely creatures together constantly starts becoming unoriginal.

We have come up with the following hybrids thus far:

1. Skunkaroo

2. Porcubat

3. Flaminger (Flamingo-tiger, name’s a work in progress)

4. Mockingbear

5. Doberdingo

6. Elephin (Elephant-dolphin, work with me, here)

7. Scorpig

and finally,

8. Manigator

While I cannot reveal to you the contents of some of the texts between my mother and I, for her privacy, hilarity ensued when we substituted Ron Perlman for Ron Jeremy when coming up with new names.

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