You know how there are some things people say that make you cringe? I have a few of those. They are either not actual words or they invoke a feeling of oogieness I cannot shake.

Please to enjoy the following:

1. Irregardless – YES, I know it’s in the dictionary, but it says it’s nonstandard, which is a nice way of saying: “OMG, we totally know it’s not a word, but since people keep saying it all the damn time, we’re just gonna stick it in here.”

Regardless means: “Without regard”, sticking the “ir” on it, makes it a double negative and I ain’t got no time for that.

2. Preggers – The most bass-ackward way of saying pregnant. It makes me want to rip off the ear lobes of the person who says it and then sew them back on upside down.

3. Fester – This word brings to mind an image of unhealed, moist, infected wounds and bald Uncles.

4. Feces – I know it’s the technical term, but for some reason “poop” is just way less gross. Say it with me: Fee – Sees

5. Bosom – I’m pretty sure it’s because I used to watch “Bosom Buddies” and called it “BOZE-EM” and my mom made fun of me. Plus just look at it for a minute, it just looks weird.

6. Broad – I hate it when men call women a “broad”. I want to yell: “Hey, great-great grandpa, 1914 called, and they want you back!”

7. Maggot – *full body shiver*

8. “Cheaper to Keep Her” – Nothing says love more!

9. “Old Ball and Chain” – See #8

10. “It is what it is”: It has to be what it is, or it would be what it isn’t, and that would blow everyone’s minds.

11. “Could care less” – Now, if you could care less, that means you still care a little. If you don’t care at all, and have no more caring about it to do, then you couldn’t care less.

There are more words and phrases that irritate me, but in keeping with my G – PG13 rated rants, I will refrain.

This broad’s outta here.

 

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